Craig drove home slowly and in silence. No music, no talk shows, no radio. Just the sound of the wind in his ears. His mind was whirling. He had the windows open trying to clear his head. It was just making him cold. He saw Charlotte in his mind, sobbing into his shirt, baby in his lap. It pained him to see her that way. Of all the things he could have wished on her after she dumped him the way she did, that would not have been one of them! He was fairly certain that baby was not his. Or was it? The flame of doubt burned his conscience. He tried to think back to right before they broke up. He had heard she was sleeping around. It could have been just rumor. It might not have. He shook his head. He thought of Mandie, his beautiful Mandie, who had just been through so much. She would never be able to deal with this. He didn't want her to. He just wanted to pack up, move away and leave the rest behind. He didn't even care about this record deal! He just wanted a life alone with his wife and child. He was disgusted with himself. What else? He asked himself, what else could go wrong? Just then he heard a car honk and looked up to see him approaching the side panel of another car in front of him. He slammed on the brakes and screeched to a halt. He had driven right through a stop sign and almost hit another car. The driver of the other car was screaming at him and giving him the finger. Craig just looked at him as he drove off slowly. Craig drove through the intersection and then pulled over to the side of the road. He leaned his head forward on the steering wheel and began to tremble. Moments later his whole body was shaking uncontrollably. He rolled up the windows and blasted the heater. As he sat there he thought of Mandie. How could he tell her? He had to tell her. He remembered how she hadn't told him about Marcus and how angry it made him. He had to tell her whether she liked it or not. If Charlotte started to call and NOT hang up ... well, at least Mandie would be prepared to deal with it. "Oh shit ..." He whispered out loud. "How the hell am I going to tell her?" He wanted to cry. He felt like he needed it. The tears wouldn't come. He put the car in gear and pulled away, careful to look behind him making sure no one was in the way! When he got home he took off his jacket, hung it up and wandered around the apartment. He wanted to check the messages knowing that Mandie had called. He looked at the machine. It was blinking. He didn't want to hear her voice. He didn't want to talk to her. He knew she would hear something in his voice. He had a hard time disguising his emotions. He eyed the phone, thinking he would talk to Brent and Brent would somehow make it better. He turned away. He didn't want to talk to anybody about this. He wanted that, if he said nothing to anyone, it would just go away and not exist. He punched the wall. He didn't feel better. He grabbed the phone and called Mandie. When she answered he tried to swallow down a lump in his throat.

"Hey, hon, where have you been?" She asked lightly. It was so good to hear her voice.

"Drew wanted me to come over. He was pissed that I missed a practice last Saturday." He said with no voice inflection.

"Oh shit, that's right! Oh, Craig, I'm sorry. That was my fault. Did you tell him it was my fault?" She asked sympathetically. She knew that Drew had been getting on his ass lately and from the tone of his voice, he had done so again.

"I did. He is just really wrapped up in this whole record deal thing. He just hasn't been himself lately."

"I know, he seems like he doesn't like me anymore, and that's strange. Drew and I have always been good friends!" He swallowed hard again and looked up at the ceiling. Those tears were coming now, just when he DIDN'T want them.

"How is your day?" He managed to say as normal as he could. He could hear her shuffling papers around in the background.

"Wow! Busy, I can't believe they couldn't find one person to take my place while I was out. And, by the way, I am going to be a little late. There are a few things I have to get done today!" He held his hand over the mouthpiece and sniffled. He cleared his throat before speaking.

"That's okay." He said. "I will make dinner later so you can eat when you get home." She felt so bad, he sounded so down about it.

"I will make an effort not to stay too late. Okay?" She asked cheerfully hoping to brighten his spirits. He looked up to the ceiling again and tears escaped his eyes . He wiped them away.

"I would love that." He whispered. He wished she wouldn't hurry. He didn't want to face her tonight. She sensed something was deeply wrong and knew better than to ask over the phone. Her heart ached hearing him so distressed.

"Okay, Craig. I love you. I'm going to go and finish so I can come home. I'll call you before I leave, okay?" He replied 'okay' and they hung up. He sat down on the couch, put his head in his hands and wept. His life was crumbling right before his very eyes. He could tell Mandie was sympathetic to him over the phone but once she found out what kind of mess he was in this time she wouldn't be sympathetic for long. She may just throw him out the damn door. What would he do then? Go crawling back to his parents. Oh, telling them wouldn't be easy either. He could always go stay with Brent. Brent was King Fuck-Up, surely he couldn't turn his own brother away? As if on cue, the phone rang. Greg got up and looked at the caller ID, the name displayed as Andrea O'Connor. It was Brent. He answered it.

"Hey, where the hell have you been all day? Didn't you get my message?" Brent asked. Craig walked around the apartment, phone in hand.

"I've had a majorly fucked up day, bro. I didn't check my messages yet."

"What's going on? Is it Mandie?" Brent asked, concerned. Craig shook his head.

"No, no, she's okay. We had a bumpy weekend but I think she's made it through. Remember that girl Charlotte I was dating?" Brent said he did.

"She was a fucking hot broad, man! Even I wanted to fuck her!" Craig made a face as his brother's insensitivity. "Hell, I almost did!" Craig sighed. He interrupted his brother by telling him about his discovery that she was the one who was doing the calling and hanging up. He also told him about the baby. There was a stifling silence on the other end when Craig finished. Then he heard Brent exhale loudly.

"Holy Jesus, Craig, what are you going to do?" He looked down at the floor and sighed.

"I just don't know."

"Wow!" Brent said. And then, "Fuck."

"Don't I know it!" Craig said. "How the hell am I going to tell Mandie? How would you tell Andrea?" Brent coughed on the other end.

"Well, first I would pack my shit and leave it right outside the door, and then ...." He trailed off.

"You aren't helping me, man." Brett sighed.

"I'm serious Craig, she would throw me right the fuck out. The whole Rebecca thing about put her over the edge. She would never be able to live with me knowing I had a kid with someone else." Craig wished he hadn't talked to his brother about it. There were no words of wisdom, no revelations as to how he would get through this unscathed ... Just Brent ranting and making it worse. "I am going to be on my best behavior from now until doomsday because she'll walk man, and there are a hundred guys in line to take my place!" Craig rubbed his face with his hand and kept his hand over his eyes.

"Brent!" Craig said cutting him off.

"What?" Brent asked, surprised.

"You aren't helping me any!" Brent felt instantly foolish.

"Oh, dude, I'm sorry. I wish I could help but, damn, I just can't imagine being in your shoes right now. I don't know what I would do." Brent thought of something. "Hey, how the fuck do you know this kid is yours? Hell, Charlotte and I almost fucked, most likely she's fucked other guys."

"I've already considered that."

"There ya go! Don't even tell Mandie, the kid is probably not yours." Craig clicked his tongue.

"I have to tell her. If Charlotte calls here or mails pictures of this baby and Mandie gets a hold of it ... and I haven't told her, I'm out, man. OUT. And, dammit, Brent, I love her so much. I can't even think about being without her." His heart yearned for her then. He wanted to hold her and kiss her. Brett sighed again on the other end.

"Jesus, sucks to be you, Craig."

"Yeah, well, it sucks to be you too, Brent. It would suck to live with you. It would suck to even just know you." Brent chuckled. His brother was lightening up and it was good to hear. "I can park in handicapped parking spaces just because you're my brother!" Brent laughed out loud.

"Hey, don't sweat it too much, Craig, things will work out. And, if worse comes to worse, you can come live with us. I'll even get ya a blow up mattress for the floor in the laundry room."

"Gee, thanks. You're a very generous man. So glad we're related ... " Brent was going on and on ....

"And maybe we'll put on an addition to house you and the baby and ...."

"Listen, I gotta go! I can't listen to any more of your shit. It's making me want to kill myself. Talk to you later." He said and as he hung up he still heard Brent going on and on ...

He paced around the apartment. He had to admit that talking to Brent had lifted his spirits a tiny bit. He was no longer contemplating suicide, he had to face the beast. That beast was himself. He had to hang on the hope that the baby was not his, Charlotte was bluffing. Or else she really didn't know. She was trying to extort money, he didn't have any. She couldn't get it out of Mandie. She wouldn't get it out of Mandie. Mandie was small but she was tough. She could probably kick Charlotte's ass even though Charlotte stood 5 inches taller than Mandie. He moved into the kitchen and searched the refrigerator for ideas for dinner. He decided he would make something he knew Mandie liked and then ease her into the subject afterward. Maybe he would make sweet love to her first, get her nice and relaxed and then drop the bomb. She sure as hell wouldn't be in the mood for sex afterward ... perhaps for days and days afterward! He was saddened at the thought. Making love to Mandie was always fantastic. She was a very responsive lover. She was the best he'd ever had. He wouldn't lose her. Like Brent had said about Andrea, Mandie would have a line a mile long of handsome, professional, rich, competent men to take his place. He would die to think of her in the arms of another man. Just watching Marcus putting his paws all over her threw him into a blind rage! He found a package of beef tips in the freezer and threw them in the microwave to thaw. He grabbed a beer, opened it and guzzled. After a loud, relieving belch, he finished the bottle and grabbed another. He needed to get wasted. This night was going to be hell on wheels.

Return To Top