Andrea pulled into the driveway, it was almost midnight. She got out of the car when something white caught her eye, she peered into the backseat of Brent's car. There were a dozen or so bags littering the back seat and the floor. Andrea smiled. 'He went shopping.' She said, giggling to herself. She loved surprises, they were the chips in the chocolate cookies of life! She let herself into the dark and quiet house. She went into the kitchen and looked in the refrigerator out of habit. She wasn't hungry, she just liked to look. Nothing new. She closed it and sauntered into the living room. Brent's denim jacket was thrown onto the floor. She frowned and picked it up. It wasn't like him to be so inconsiderate! She headed towards the bedroom. It was dark and Brent lay on the bed, on his side his back to her, Rory pressed up against the backs of his legs. Andrea smiled. It was absolutely adorable how Rory befriended Brent and Brent, although he tried to pretend Rory didn't mean anything to him, had come to love the cat! She pulled off her scrub top and dumped it into the dirty clothes hamper. She slid down her pants and kicked off her shoes. She went into the bathroom in just her bra and panties. She washed her face and brushed her teeth. When she was finished she pulled back the covers and slid into bed beside Brent. She cuddled up next to him and then sighed.

"You awake baby?" She whispered leaning over him, touching the hair that covered his face. Even in the dark she saw how pink his cheeks were. She instantly pressed the backs of her fingers to his cheeks. He was very warm. He stirred and rolled onto his back. She touched his cheeks with her cool hands. He felt warm. She wondered if he wasn't coming down with something.

"Yeah, I'm awake." He said softly. "I'm not feeling really good." He said. She pulled him to her.

"What's the matter? Is it your throat?" She asked quickly. He shook his head.

"No, no, not my throat." He said, his eyes closed, not moving. Rory, feeling a bit disturbed by the movement on the bed, jumped down and sauntered out of the room. Andrea moved herself almost on top of Brent.

"Darling! What is it? What's wrong?" She asked and kissed his lips lightly. He kissed back quickly.

"I don't know. I just feel, nauseated or something. I haven't felt good all evening." He draped his forearm over his eyes to shield them from her. She slid back down and curled herself up to him. She lightly stroked his chest.

"You know if there's anything I can do all you need to do is say so." He breathed heavily and nodded. He felt a huge lump in his throat and swallowed it down. With it came tears that threatened to spill out from under his lids and down the sides of his face. He saw all to clear, the events of the evening playing back over and over in his mind and it was disturbing. Even now he could feel Taylor's body on top of him, sliding herself up and down his shaft, purring with delight. It sickened him. He felt the wave of nausea again and rolled away from Andrea. He pulled his legs up underneath him into the fetal position and groaned slightly.

"You okay?" She whispered.

"Uh huh, just a little nausea." He said. She backed away from him. She knew that there was nothing someone who felt queasy hated was someone else crowding them. He felt her move away and it saddened him more. He wanted her to touch him, he needed to feel her body close to his and yet he felt dirty, like he didn't deserve her attention, her love. He reached his arm behind him and felt around for her. She reached out to him and took his hand. He clutched it tightly and pulled her to him. She pressed herself up against his back, him still clutching her hand. She was confused. "I love you, baby." He whispered. She kissed the side of his neck. He shivered at the light touch of her lips.

"I love you too, Brent. What is the matter? How long have you been feeling this way?" He gulped.

"Since eight or so." He sighed.

"Why didn't you call me honey?" She asked sympathetically. He shrugged.

"I didn't want to disturb you, I know you're busy." She sighed heavily.

"I am never, ever too busy for you, you know that!" He felt a tear slide down his nose and onto the pillow. He rubbed his nose to rub away the salty tear. He needed to sniffle but hesitated knowing that Andrea would look at him. He just continued to breathe through his mouth.

"I know it." He said softly. She stared at him, he wasn't moving. The way he was acting was strange. It was as though he was sick but not really. Suddenly he sniffled and then swallowed.

"I wonder if you aren't getting some sort of sinus infection." She said. "You should see a doctor right away. It could affect your throat again ...." He sighed and clutched her tighter.

"It isn't a sinus infection Annie, I just love you. I missed you tonight, I couldn't wait for you to come home. Please, just hold me." He rolled over towards her and pulled her tightly to his chest and held her there. She felt his warmth, the length and hardness of his body. It felt good. She breathed in his scent. Clean, like he had just showered. She thought about the doctor she'd met earlier, Dom. Oh, sure he was handsome and beefy, but ... she pressed her face into Brent's shoulder and felt his hair tickle her face. This was who she loved, desired, and cared to be with. The father of the baby she carried. The baby who was making her fat!! She'd lost all her shape and now her belly was poofing out to top it all off! It wouldn't be long before she would be perusing the maternity section at the department store in the mall ... He cleared his throat. "Annie, I love you very much." He whispered. She pressed her face up to his and kissed his cheek lightly.

"Oh, I know you do, darling. And I hope you know I love you." She felt him nod.

"I do." She hugged him.

"Why don't you go to sleep and get some rest. I'm sure you'll feel better in the morning. Sometimes, just sometimes anxiety can cause flu-like symptoms. Maybe you're just anxious. You do seem to have been quite nervous lately. There's a lot going on, and you've got the new album on your mind. Just lay here, in my arms, know that I love you and support you no matter what you do and drift off to sleep. In the morning you'll wake up feeling refreshed." The tears streamed down his cheeks and his chest heaved. He held on to her tight and cried out his emotions quietly. He took what she said to his heart and he felt a sharp pain shoot through it. He was so disappointed in himself that he actually went so far as to have sex with her sister. What would she do when she found out? She would find out sooner or later. He couldn't decide which would be worse, sooner or later. He hated himself for being so sexually weak as to let Taylor seduce him. It just went to prove that he couldn't count on himself being a one-woman man. As much as he loved Andrea, his sexual appetite was insatiable. He would be doing her a favor if he just walked away from the whole thing and set her free. He would cry, she would cry. But then it would be over and he would be free to be himself and she would find someone who could be monogamous and devoted only to her. God knows, she deserved it! She didn't deserve to be treated the way he treated her tonight. She was beautiful, smart, and loving. She needed someone who would be attentive to what Andrea's wants, needs, and wishes were, not someone who thought only of himself and his libido. He sobbed into his pillow. He hoped Andrea was asleep and not paying attention. He didn't want to have to explain himself to her. Rory jumped up next to Brent's head. He pulled the cat closer and hugged him. Rory, not liking the feeling of being 'trapped' tolerated Brent's hug only a moment before pulling himself free and leaving the room again. He lay awake for hours, sobbing and thinking. The thinking hurt him more than the crying.

When morning came, Brent awoke and stretched. He felt behind him, the bed was empty. It was then he heard the treadmill running in the basement. He got up and padded listless into the kitchen. Andrea had made coffee and left a mug for him in front of the pot. He poured himself a cup and didn't bother to sweeten it. He sipped it straight up. It was strong and bitter, he needed it to clear his head of all thought of the day before. He went back into the bedroom, slipped on a pair of jeans, socks and his shoes. He threw on his leather coat and left the house. He walked slowly down the few blocks to the convenience store for a newspaper and, on impulse, a pack of smokes. As he walked back, the air was cool and refreshing. He took a deep breath through his nose and blew it out his mouth. He looked around at the neighborhood. He wished he wasn't there right at that moment. He wished he was laying in his own bed, in his dirty, dingy little apartment in Pennsylvania alone and stoned. This "good" life was much too hard work. He used to enjoy waking up around noon, cracking open a beer, lighting a smoke, giving his balls a good scratch and flopping down in front of the television for an hour or two of cartoons or re-runs of South Park. He opened the cigarettes, flipped one out and bit down on it. He pulled it all the way out of the pack and lit it with a match. He tossed the match behind him while the smoke of the freshly lit cig wafted around his head. He breathed it in. How he missed smoking! He took a drag off the cig, coughed and blew the smoke back out. It burned his lungs and made his nose sting but the pain of it all felt good. He wished there were other things he could do to himself to make up for the pain he caused Andrea but smoking would suffice for now. He smoked the whole cigarette nearly to the butt and then tossed it away half a block before he was home. He stood outside on the porch for a moment to let the smell of the cigarette blow off of him in the wind before he stepped inside. The warmth of the house hit him like a punch. He found it difficult to breathe in. He shrugged off his jacket and hung it up. He slipped off his boots and went quietly into the bathroom. The whole room was filled with steam, he could barely see through it. He pulled back the shower curtains just enough to peek in. He watched with a heavy heart while Andrea raised her arm above her head and shaved her armpits. She didn't seem to notice he was even there. He closed the curtain and sat on the sink resting his feet on the toilet seat. He sat there quietly waiting. He heard the water shut off and then the curtain flew back and Andrea stood there naked, wet, and dripping. She jumped and clutched her chest when she saw him.

"Brent!" She squealed. He smiled, got up off the sink and handed her a towel. She snatched it out of his hand and with a frown said, "You scared the life out of me!" She stepped out of the tub and onto a towel. She bent over and rubbed her hair with the towel. He reached down and placed his hands on either side of her hips.

"I'm sorry I scared you, baby." He bent himself down over her back and hugged her. She stood up, he stood up and she turned to him, drying herself off.

"It's okay. I just didn't hear you come in. Where'd you go?" She asked casually. It had bothered her to see him gone when she finished running and entered the empty bedroom but she wouldn't let him know that.

"I went to White Hen for a paper." He said moving from her to sit on the toilet seat. When he passed her she smelled the leftover cigarette smell. She wrinkled up her nose.

"Were you smoking?" She asked tightly. He just looked at her a moment.

"Uhh, the people in the store were smoking." He lied. "What if I was, would that bother you?" She sighed and placed on hand on her hip. It was with that little movement that he noticed how round her belly was becoming. His eyes moved to her abdomen and he just stared.

"Yes, Brent, it would bother me. I'm not a smoker, you're not a smoker. We're having a baby. I don't want smokers around the baby." She said rather scornful.

"Wow! You're starting to ..." He frowned, not knowing how to describe it without being insulting. He moved his hands around indicating her belly. She pulled the towel away and looked down at her tummy.

"Show?" She said loudly. "Yes, I'm starting to show. I can almost not wear any of my old clothes, especially my jeans." He smiled.

"Well, that's pretty cool. You're starting to look officially inseminated." He grinned proudly as he approached her. She smiled.

"You sure you are appreciating this? I mean, it gets worse ... MUCH worse!" He pulled her into his arms and touched her belly with his hand.

"It's hard." He said rubbing it.

"That's supposed to be my line." She said running her hands up his shirt. He lifted her up into his arms and headed out of the bathroom towards the bed.

"Oh, don't worry, baby, it will be ..." He said as he placed her on the bed and proceeded to shed all his clothes. When he was naked, he covered her with his body and kissed her. Immediately she tasted the nicotine and knew he had been lying about smoking. It bothered her greatly but she decided not to go into it at that very moment and they made love. Afterwards, Brent lay in her arms and fell back to sleep while she stroked his hair. Andrea felt a twang of discontent. She sensed something was going inside Brent but couldn't figure out exactly what it might have been. It began with the flirtations that went on between him and Taylor, then his sickness the night before and now he had been smoking and lied about it. She frowned as her hand moved from the top of his head and stroked his hair down to his back. She leaned closer to him and sniffed. She smelled the smoke in his hair. She felt angry. A momentary twinge of panic engulfed her. Perhaps he was losing interest in her. Perhaps he longed for his old way of life. He was a ladies' man before he met her and she knew he had a hard time with it. He told her he could survive a monogamous relationship but now she had her doubts. Her heart fluttered a bit. What would she do if he decided he couldn't stay? Was their baby enough glue to hold them together as a couple? Did she really want him to deny himself his true calling all for the sake of a child? She blinked back tears. Was it possible to love someone so much that you pushed them away? She hoped she hadn't done that. She loved him so much that envisioning her life without him brought her to tears. She didn't want to have to let him go. She wanted them to be a family. But could she be the kind of woman he needed to keep him satisfied in all areas of his life? She shrugged slightly and wiped away a tear with her shoulder. She could only try. The answers to these questions would not be revealed right away. They would come only with time ...

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