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The next day, being back on the job was more strenuous then I’d ever imagined it would be. Josh was sitting with a small group of guys from the band when he saw me. We locked eyes. The pain I felt looking at him was too much to bear. He smiled at me forcefully. I gave a half wave, my wrist felt like a wet noodle. I walked past him hurriedly trying to get out of his sight. He got up quickly and being as his legs were twice as long as mine, caught up with me quickly. He grabbed my elbow and spun me around.
“Hey.” I said. I was shaking so much, I was hoping he wouldn’t notice.
“Everything okay?” He asked. I tucked my hair behind my ear nervously and nodded.
“Yeah, great. Hey, thanks for a great time the other night.”
“You know I wanted to talk to you about that. I’m really sorry things ended up the way they did.” I closed my eyes and felt tears sting under my lids.
“It’s okay, Josh. I told you that. What happened stays between you and me.” He smiled politely.
“Yeah. Everyone’s going to be asking us about the party and whatnot, just be as honest as you can without …” He twirled his finger around. “Well, you know.” I looked away and down the hall.
“I know.”
“Great. And thanks. I’m glad at least one of us is fairly mature.” He squeezed my shoulder. “I just kinda wish it was me!” He chuckled. I forced a laugh.
“Some day, little Joshie, someday.” I said as I turned away and walked down the hallway leaving him smiling at me. When I was out of sight I rubbed my shoulder where he’d squeezed it a moment ago. My whole body ached just from his gaze. I sat down in the first chair I saw before my legs collapsed underneath me. My breath came in short spurts. I honestly wasn’t sure I could do this, the reaction I had when I saw him was outlandish. How was I going to work closely with him when I could barely stand or breathe? I lifted my hand in front of my face, it shook like an earthquake. No, I couldn’t do it. I put my head in my hands. Just as I felt like the tears were going to come and I would feel some semblance of relief I heard someone coming down the hallway towards me. I sniffled and wiped my eyes. The last thing I wanted was to be caught crying. I stood up, took off my glasses and rubbed my eyes. Yeah, I was wearing glasses today after I’d cried my eyes out and ruined my contacts the day before.
“Hey! Theo, I heard the party was pretty good.” It was one of the band members, Eric. He clapped me on the back. I turned and gave him my best smile.
“It was very … interesting to say the least. I made sure Josh was on his best behavior.” He frowned, concerned.
“You okay?” He asked putting his hand on my back.
“Oh, yeah, I just have a slight headache today.” He nodded knowingly.
“I hate hangovers. Don’t get them anymore since I stopped drinking way too much. So you kept the Joshman from being a bad boy, eh? How in the hell did you do that? Did you handcuff him to the wall?” He joked as he moved past me and into the backstage area of the venue. I sighed and went to find Cassie. I needed to find out how she needed my help. I was hoping she’d give me some menial task away from everyone. No, of course not. She wanted me to drive Josh to his voice coach. Yay. I met him out by my car. He was leaning against the passenger side, sunglasses shading his eyes. I made to get into the driver’s door and dangled the keys in front of him.
“You gonna want to wrestle me for the keys again?” I asked with a sigh. He halted getting into the car and looked at me.
“Not unless you want me to.” Oh, I did. I wanted him to wrestle me in the worst way. My chest hurt thinking about it. I continued to get into the car and belt myself in.
“Not today.” I said as he climbed in. We drove off. The whole way there he lay back in the seat, his arm over his eyes. At one point I thought I even heard him snore. I poked him under the arm and he jumped up, looking back and forth, obviously confused. His eyes were red and bleary.
“What’s wrong? Where are we?” I put a hand on his arm.
“We’re almost to the studio. You were snoring. Are you okay?” He lay back down and closed his eyes.
“Nothing, I’m just tired. That party did me in.” He used a tone with me I’d never heard before and I was taken aback by it. I said nothing else until we got to where we were going. Then I got out of the car and opened the door for him. He sat up when he heard the door and didn’t speak as he went into the studio. I fished my own sunglasses out of my glove box and slid them up onto my face while I lay back in the seat and closed my own eyes. How dare he get snippy with me! He nearly nails me on the doorstep and I save his ass and he gets crabby? “Pfffft.” I said waving my hand and turned the radio up. I figured a bit of classical music would soothe my soul and I was right. I tried a bit of meditation and cleared my mind. That was until that crazy Californian with the wild, curly hair popped into my mind and not only did I see him but I could actually hear his voice.
“I love you.” He whispered. I smiled keeping my eyes closed. I didn’t want to open them and burst my bubble. “Teddy.” He now whispered. “Teddy Bear.” I felt something brush against my nose and sat bolt upright swatting at whatever it was. Josh jumped back from the car window and laughed. “Woah, hey! Watch it there, killer.” He said approaching the window again timidly. I glared at him. How dare he first get snippy and now break into my dreams, about him no less!
“What did you say just now?” I quizzed. He made his way over to the passenger side and got in.
“I said watch it there, killer.” I shook my head and started the engine.
“No before that.” He busied himself with his seat belt.
“Oh, I was calling your name. I said, Teddy.” He concealed his eyes with sunglasses again and stared out his side of the car.
“I thought you said something else.” I muttered.
“Nope.” Was his reply.
