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Before signing off and heading into the studio Josh snuck onto his website again and found the news about January and Jude Law had been exposed. He felt anger welling up inside him and sighed as he read the posts from women who all wanted to ‘mother’ him. They insulted Jan and begged to be the first to press his sad, little head to their bosoms and comfort him. He exited out of the website and slammed the top of his laptop closed before rubbing his now teary eyes frantically. He got up from the couch and paced the living room. He decided that he hated her. He hadn’t heard a word from her in more then a week. He’d already wiped her number off his speed dial. He stomped off into his bedroom where he pulled out a box of photos. He tore every single one of the two of them together into pieces and threw them in the air. He hoped it would make him feel better, it didn’t. He proceeded to find every picture of them together and ones of her alone and tore them to shreds until there wasn’t a single photo of her left in the condo. The only thing he got out of it was a trail of confetti from one end of the house to the other. He ended up staring at his pathetic reflection in the bedroom mirror. He looked old. He had bags under his eyes and they were puffy and tired-looking. He growled. Yeah, he now hated January. She was a bitch, just like Karen said. She didn’t deserve the love he gave her. She didn’t deserve him. He would find better. And he wouldn’t settle for the first girl that came along either. Karen was right, he needed time for himself, time for Josh. He felt tears sting his eye and blinked quickly to brush them away. They dripped down his cheeks. He turned away, disgusted from the mirror and flopped down on the bed where the tears came quickly and he began to cry. He covered his eyes with his arm where his sleeve soaked up the tears. Angrily he slammed his fists backwards on the bed and then sat up. He wiped his face and sniffled. He didn’t want to be a cry baby and decided he wouldn’t be. Yeah, the pain went deep but it wasn’t unbearable. There were plenty of women clamoring for his attention, weren’t there? Chris was right, he needed a distraction. He got up, grabbed his keys and headed out the door.
That morning in the studio wasn’t the best for Josh. He was frustrated and disgusted with himself. He hadn’t properly warmed up and his throat was feeling a bit raw. He sat down at the piano and plunked out the notes to a new song he had been working on and after recording what he thought was good he went to bang on the drums for a while. It was one of the only things that truly relaxed him anymore. When he was sitting there, whacking the skins his mind was blank, he wasn’t thinking of Jan, he wasn’t thinking of his mother, no thoughts of women spewing their unwanted attention on him in his hour of ‘need.’ It was just him and the kit. He played for most of two hours until he was drenched in sweat. He left the room and met with his producer in the hall.
“Hey.” He said breathless then nodded.
“You wanting to do some more today, Josh?” David asked him, planting his hands on his hips feeling that he already knew the answer. Josh pursed his lips and frowned, deep in thought. Then he nodded.
“You know, I think I will … let me rinse off real quick.” He said and headed towards the locker room. David’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. He scratched his head and walked off towards the studio to wait for Josh. He took a quick shower then bounded into the studio. Feeling better now then he had earlier he put down two songs then headed out into the blinding sunlight. He drove straight over to his parent’s house where he had supper with them. When pressed by his mom about dating he told her he was going to start.
“But first,” He said, finishing the last of a mudslide his dad had made for the three of them. “I’m going to get back to me. I’m going to make the best CD I ever have, the fans are going to LOVE it!” His mom smiled, she was glad to hear that Josh was getting back to being himself despite the embarrassment his former girlfriend was causing him. His dad held up his drink.
“To dating!” He said. Josh and Lindy held up their drinks too.
“To dating!” They repeated. Josh checked his watch and made up an excuse to leave.
“Yeah, I gotta go, I’m supposed to meet someone tonight.” His dad walked him to the door and then hugged him tightly.
“Hey, son, don’t let all that stuff get to you. I knew it wouldn’t last long. I just never said anything before. It wasn’t really my business.” It wasn’t really any of your business now, Josh thought but smiled at his dad.
“I’m not going to. Don’t worry about me, Dad, I’m stronger then you know.”
“Good going son! See ya tomorrow!” He clapped Josh on the back before Josh sprinted to his car and sped towards Beverly Hills. He parked in his designated space under the condo building and rode the elevator up to the fourth floor. He stuck the key in the lock and turned quickly. He flicked on the lights and kicked the door shut with his heel as he made his way in the dark to the living room. He lifted the top of the computer and turned it. While it was booting up he went into the bedroom and shed his jeans and slipped into a pair of sweats. He stuck a bag of popcorn into the microwave, set the timer and went to get a cold beer from the fridge. He poured the popcorn into a bowl and took it and his beer into the living room. He settled himself on the couch and signed into Yahoo Messenger to chat with Karen. She wasn’t on right away so he browsed the Internet, checking on his own website and message board and when he found that nothing had changed he moved on to something else. It wasn’t long before Karen signed on and paged him.
“Jay, you there?” She asked.
“I’m here.” He typed back.
“I can’t stay on long. It’s Sunday night and I have to get these kids ready for bed. School tomorrow.” She said and sent him a sad face. He sent the sad face back to her.
“Too bad. I wanted to chat.” He said.
“I do too but you should see them! I think HE fed them sugar right before dropping them off!!” Josh sighed. He really did want to spend the night chatting with Karen.
“How long will it take?” He asked.
“Not sure.” She replied. He wanted to ask her something but was hesitant. He didn’t want her to think he was a stalker. He giggled at himself. How the tables have turned!
“Can I …” He typed and then sent it by mistake before he could erase it.
“Can you what?” She asked. His face turned bright pink though he was alone in his condo.
“Can I call you?” He asked and grimaced as he pressed the send button. He leaned his head back on the couch not wanting to see the reply. When the bell rang that she’d replied he was hesitant to look.
“Sure you can.” She said and gave him her number. “Just give me like 20 minutes to get them calmed down.” He smiled.
“Okay.” He said and then watched as she signed off. He sat there on the couch, smiling like the cat that just ate the canary. He felt butterflies flapping around in his belly. He was actually nervous. He’d never done anything like this in his life and he was about to talk on the phone with a complete stranger. Well she wasn’t that much of a stranger, he’d spoken to her multiple times on the computer but live was different. He set his computer down on the couch and stuck his feet up on the cocktail table. He covered his face with his hands and rubbed. Too nervous to sit he got up and paced around the house, putting things that had ended up out of place where they belonged. He found a half-full cup of coffee next to his bed and took it to the kitchen where he dumped it and rinsed the cup. He retrieved his mostly empty bottle of beer from the table by the couch where he was sitting, downed the last of it and grabbed himself a fresh one. He took a huge gulp for courage then belched loudly. He wiped some spittle off his bottom lip with the back of his hand.
“Wow, that was classy Groban.” He said and laughed to himself. “Yeah, I know, wasn’t it? Could you just see the crowd cheering if I opened my mouth onstage and came out with that?” He checked his watch. He had 5 more minutes before she said he could call. He moved from room to room, pacing like a caged animal before grabbing his cell phone and flopping back down on the couch. He took a deep breath and then exhaled. His heart was pounding. He shook his head. What was wrong with him? Like he’d never spoken to a person he hardly knew on the phone before! He didn’t understand it. Karen was different, he told himself. How? He didn’t know but she was. He checked his watch again. It was time. He waited another minute so she didn’t think he was overtly anxious to call. He lifted the top of the computer and glanced at the number. He flipped open the top of his cell phone and began to dial. His hands were trembling. He found himself taking short, shallow breaths as the phone rang on the other end. Suddenly he heard the phone pick up and a friendly female voice answered.
“Jay?” He heard her say. He almost didn’t answer. He almost hung up without saying a word.
“Yes.” He strained to say, cleared his throat then repeated himself.
“Are you okay?” Karen asked, concerned hearing his voice crack. He cleared his throat again and squirmed on the couch.
“Yeah, oh yeah, I’m okay. I just hadn’t spoken for a long time.”
“Good, I was afraid you were going to tell me you had some bad news.” Josh frowned.
“What kind of bad news?” He asked, confused.
“Oh, I don’t know, like that …” Karen cleared her throat. “Thing you call a girlfriend contacted you or something.” He heard strange noises on the phone and then it sounded like it had been dropped. “I’m sorry, Jay, I’m trying to get my youngest child into her pajamas and she’s fresh out of the bath and these damned pajama pants won’t go over her legs easily!” Josh laughed. He remembered those days … he hated getting pajamas on after a bath. That was why his mom always powdered him. He blushed. Until he was too old for that!
“Have you tried powdering them?” He asked quietly.
“No, but that’s a good idea. Wonder if she’d go for it …” Karen said thinking aloud. She sighed heavily. “Okay, the last one is in pajamas.” Josh laughed again. He had been extremely nervous when he’d first called but being as she was half listening, half taking care of kids he was more at ease.
“My mother used to do that to me and my brother. The clothes went on easier and we smelled nice and clean.” It was Karen’s turn to laugh. She tried to picture that but she had absolutely no idea what “Jay” looked like.
“Hey, I just remembered I have not seen a picture of you!” Josh swallowed a lump in his throat.
“Well, I’ll have to find a picture for you. I look hideous. I’m a freak.” She sighed heavily.
“Yeah, right.” She said flatly. “Well I can tell you one thing, you sound young.” He moved his eyes around the room nervously.
“How young?” He asked and smiled.
“Maybe 20.” He laughed.
“Older then that.”
“Thank God because I like talking to you and I didn’t want to have to cut it off so soon.”
“You would do that?” He asked, surprised.
“Yeah, in a heartbeat!” He sighed.
“Oh come on! You don’t go for that older woman, younger man deal?” Things had calmed down in the background and Josh assumed she had finally settled herself.
“Well, I honestly don’t know. I haven’t tried.” He smiled into the phone.
“Well you should try it, you might like it.” He said softly. Karen was silent a moment.
“So, Jay … how come you don’t have much in your profile on the website?” He sighed and sipped his beer.
“Well … I didn’t really go there looking for anyone. Basically I just wanted to read about how to deal with this break up and not go nuts over it. It’s really upset me, Karen. We still haven’t officially broken up. It’s got me torn up inside.”
“I know.” She said and then quickly added, “Well I can imagine how you feel. I felt similar when I found out my husband was cheating on me. He didn’t tell me, I heard it from someone else. It really sucked.”
“Yeah, that’s how I found out and the sad thing is that I asked her point blank and she denied it. She got angry and hung up on me.”
“I still say she’s a bitch.” Josh smiled. “She doesn’t deserve you. You are a tender, caring person. She’s a bitch.” He laughed.
“You said that twice.”
“She’s twice the bitch.” He laughed with Karen.
“So do you mind that I’m younger?” He asked. She was surprised and didn’t know what to say at first.
“Well, I … Umm … I’m not …” There was a pause. “I don’t know, Jay. I mean, where are we going with this?” He sat up and planted his feet on the floor.
“Well, I’m not saying we should go anywhere right now but I, umm … Didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable talking to me.” He ground his teeth together and shook his head. He was going to blow it before they’d even spoken a second time.
“I feel okay about it. Are you okay with it?”
“Yeah, oh yeah. You have helped me a lot with this. I just, I don’t know what to do about her. I thought I loved her.”
“I know. It is a rude awakening when you find out the person you thought you loved was a totally different someone that you really don’t know.”
“You’re right!” He said. “When she had the chance to go away to another country – to a conference with this guy she jumped at the chance. I should have known right there and then.”
“Oh my God, yes! Why did you allow that?” Josh got up from the couch and took his empty beer bottle to the kitchen and grabbed another.
“I had no choice! It was for work. If I’d have said no it wouldn’t have mattered either way.” He popped the top off the bottle and took a swig.
“Well I think you’re better off. You have time now to do what you want and when you want to. Spend time with your family and friends. Get your career going …” He nodded.
“Yeah, I owe my brother some time I guess.” He said with a sigh.
“You see? How about your mom and dad, are they still alive?”
“Yep, and kicking! Kicking me for having dated her in the first place. My mom was not one of her biggest fans.” Josh chuckled.
“Well no woman is good enough for any mom’s son. I’ll tell you that right now. My son is 14 and I can’t imagine letting him date someone I didn’t like.”
“Your son is 14? No way!”
“Way. He’s 14 and I’m feeling mighty old these days!” Josh shook his head.
“You are NOT old. And from that little tiny picture I saw in your profile you are very pretty.”
“Jay, that picture is so small you couldn’t see it with a magnifying glass. I’m certainly not pretty and yes, I’m old!”
“I’m not going to argue with you because if there’s one thing I learned from dating it’s that you can never win an argument with a woman when she thinks she is right.”
“Very good!”
“So, I’ll just say I think you’re pretty and that’s that.” Karen sighed. “Okay, fine then send me a real picture and I’ll make the final decision.”
“Maybe.” Karen teased.
“What do you mean ‘maybe’?”
“Just what I said. I’ll see if I can find one that won’t singe the eyeballs out of your head.” She said and laughed.
“Hey, did you know that you are Plankton’s wife on Spongebob?” Josh said with a laugh.
“Hey, did you know that you obviously have no life if you sit around watching Spongebob?” Karen taunted right back at him. He gasped audibly.
“I can’t believe you said that!” Karen laughed at him. He laughed with her. “And you know what, you would be right! But I love Spongebob!”
“I do too. When the kids are watching it I pretend I’m not paying attention but I laugh quietly at it. And yeah, I knew that about Plankton’s computer wife.”
“That’s what I like about you, Karen, you are so cool.” She giggled.
“Sure I am. That’s what everyone says about me. Hey, there’s Karen, she’s cooool!” Josh laughed.
“Well I think you are.”
“You might just be the only one.” She sighed.
“That’s what counts, right?”
Josh and Karen chatted on the phone for hours. At midnight Josh went into his bathroom and pulled his contacts out of his eyes while still talking to Karen. Then he brushed his teeth.
“Are you brushing your teeth, Jay?” Karen asked incredulous.
“Unh huh.” He mumbled.
“We’d better hang up.”
“No!” Josh said. “I’m not done talking.” Karen laughed.
“You’re ready for bed!” She said. “And so am I.”
“No, I’m not yet, I still have my jeans on.” He said and held the phone with his shoulder while he unsnapped and unzipped them. He slid them down over his slim hips and stepped out of them. He pulled off his underwear and tossed them in the corner. “Well now I don’t.” He said in a sexy tone.
“Don’t even go there, Jay!” Karen chastised. He pulled on the boxers he wears to bed and then went to make sure the front door was locked.
“Okay, okay, I put on my pajamas. Is that better?” Josh teased as he set the alarm and made his way back to the bedroom flicking off lights on the way. He’d already shut down his computer the hour before.
“Yes. Did you powder yourself before you put them on?” She giggled and Josh sighed.
“Nooooo ….” He said. “I would have had to have showered first and I’m pretty sure the phone wouldn’t have made it through that.” Karen giggled again.
“Yeah, probably not.”
“I’ll powder tomorrow.” He said as he crawled between his cool sheets and settled himself back against the pillows. The bed was calling to him and now that he lay in it, was threatening to suck the energy right out of him and send him off to dreamland. He fought it, he was enjoying his conversation with Karen too much to sleep now.
“Good boy!” She said. “And, speaking of tomorrow, I have got to get to bed so I can get up for work!” He sighed.
“So soon?” He asked. Karen laughed softly.
“You are so cute.” She said. “We have been talking for nearly 3 hours! This isn’t soon.” Josh snapped his wrist up in front of his face and checked his watch. It had been over 3 hours since they started chatting on the phone!
“Woah! I don’t think I’ve ever talked on the phone this long in my life!”
“I’m sure I have. Those teenage years are quite memorable.” She said with a sigh.
“Yeah, I know that.” Josh said and then waited until he heard Karen laugh to laugh with her.
“All those years ago!” She remarked.
“Yep.” He said.
“Okay, I’m gonna go.” Josh tried desperately to talk her out of it but she insisted on hanging up. “Call me tomorrow if you want and I’ll bore you some more.” Josh closed his eyes as he lay his head back on the pillow.
“You don’t bore me.” He said softly.
“Yeah, sure.” Karen said.
“You really don’t.”
“Well okay then. Wait until a few more phone calls and your first episode of hearing me holler at the kids before you make that determination.”
“I will.” He whispered. He was getting sleepy and this time he couldn’t fight it.
“Good night Jay. And it was great to talk to you.” Karen said knowing he was on his way out.
“Good night.” Josh said half asleep and closed the phone terminating the connection. As he drifted off he could hear her beautiful voice and he smiled.
